Monday, March 20, 2006

Movie Review - Sudhesi

There was Vanchinathan.. where Vijay (The Spleen) Kanth was the cause of instantanous combustion of a few lorries.

There was Narasimha where he made an appearance as the superhero who had the capacity to electrocute electricity.

There was Alexander where he played a CBI officer who would ignite a cigarette with his own blood.

Then there was Gajendra where he spends some time in 'hyper-polymer shock' uses just his moustache to bash baddies.

But Sudhesi... I am sorry to say... pales in comparison. Gaaptan is just your friendly neighborhood vigilante... there is no international conspiracy against India... there are no theeviravaadhies from Baakisdaan... There are no theeviravaadhies hanging "Jihad" posters inside well lit 'secret' hideouts located in city hotels... SHUCKS !!!! This is when you realize this is not the usual gaaptan movie.

The movie does NOT feature gaaptan as the greatest CeeBeeAi abeesar to grace earth. Nor is he an underworld don with a heart of 24 carrat gold... Nor is he a undercover 'deductive' with super-human skills... Nor is he some major Jameendar who has hair growing from his ears and nose... Dismay starts to creep in... you feel cheated... this is not correct.. There is no God.

Is he the guy who can fall through the air faster than class IV particles like in Alexander?
Is he the guy who could resist even Sodium Pentathol... to make chemistry Nobel Laureates to scratch their heads and say "Oh My God... Ivana Control Panrathukku innum medicine kandupidikkala" like they did in Narasimha?
Is this the man who coudl leap 20 feet in the air and bash 20 guys with his moustache like he did in Gajendra?
Is he the guy who slaughtered around 232347 guys with a double edged battle axe to beat Shwarzenegger's record in Commando?

No No No No No No No No No... this is not the gaaptan I know. This is just not fair!!! What has happened to my man???

And then it happened... Gaaptan starts wooing a girl... his face fills the screen... he twirls his tongue under his teeth, winks and the the sweet sound reaches my ears... "Aaaang".... and I rest in peace... atleast one thing cannot changed.

/Eagerly awaiting Perarasu
//I heard there are 2 gaaptans in the movie
///HE fights HIMSELF !!!!!
////Wonder who wins...
/////Does earth survive THE BATTLE?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Movie Review - 1947 Earth

"There is an animal inside everyone of us... be it Hindu, Muslim or Sikh... it is just the action of opening the door for the animal to get out... once that is done there is no controlling it..."

The entire movie is being narrated through the eyes of the child and so, many questions are left unanswered... but that is pardonble... the child is present in everyshot... in some such movies, the writer forgets who narrates the story and tells you more information than the narrator can possibly know... but that is rarely the case in 1947. That is something I liked.. but still does not explain why and how a mother can let an ayyah and the child loiter around a city rife with religious disharmony.

Apart from which the movie.. (or the child) does not attempt to take any sides.. because all the principal characters in the movie are the child's friends... Muslim, Sikh, Hindu... The closure to the movie is also done pretty suavely... and presented without any passionate tilt.

Yes there was one sequence in which the child was not present and there was no way in which the child could have known that fact... but its OK.. pardonable again.

And yes there is an attempt to raise the emotional level with innocent dialogues from the children. About... what rape is... and why people are put inside gunny sounds cheap when you read it in a review.. but in the movie it is passed off well.

The main way the British fucked up India was to leave its idiotic Victorian principles behind... and so there is an element of incredulity when you see the Parsee parents who emulate the British in every other way, use non-Victorian language with the children.

Also, possibly the movies paint Parsees in bad light... calling themselves 'chameleons'... but then it might be correct... weren't we ruled by the wife and son of a Parsee who changed his name just to appeal to the masses? I dont think the Congress has a case on that one.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Movie review - The New World

Poetic license is ok... it worked well with the Thin Red Line.. atleast there were a few war scenes that were interesting and he kept from introducing characters till the last few chapters. Here he does the same thing Christian Bale comes in only finally. But look at this story... this is a love story with the the two quoting pretentious lines of poetry to make us understand the 'extent' of love... which does not augur the storyline nor does it define any character... this movie must be watched on dope. Attempting to give some idiotic story and trying to connect it with Pochahontas one more fairytale is even more idiotic.

I would suggest you to not waste your time on the movie if you though The thin red line was too tedious.
If you thought the thin red line was OK, then you could try this movie. Do not get fooled by people writing reviews about how Pochohontas had the power to bring the two people together but in a small way she did but not to a whole extent... no. The Brits were there to rape and loot. They were in the New world to take and not to share. How can one 14 year old girl change all that?

Watch the movie for the music and the visuals.... as usual you get a taste of the local flora and fauna while the characters are reciting poetry... as usual...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Movie Review - Narnia - Episode 1A

Narnia... Chronicles of 4 brats who play hide and seek in another person's house.

How will an adult review a kid's movie? Based on what his kid thinks about the movie ? Or based on the technical value or the factual accuracy of the fairytale it is based on?

  • If you are a parent who wants to take his/her kid ot the movies.. Narnia is a sure endure for you.
  • If you are a bored guy sitting at home.. with nothing to do.. watch Napoleon Dynamite once again.. and dont watch Narnia.
  • If you are a Narnia fanatic who was brought up on that nonsense as a child.. well watch it.. but not for factual accuracy nor technical comeptency.. but for completion sake.
  • If you are someone to whom Narnia is new.. do not expect anythng more that cliched cliches and moral science lessons and some really terrible graphics.. especially whenever the lion comes into the picture..
For me ? Much of the moive went in trying to identify the voice of the lion.. (SPOILER ALERT: it is Liam Neeson.. Roger Ebert tells me).. there that is probably the only thing that would keep you interested in this otherwise idiotic over hyped childish (OK.. it IS for children i agree.. so dont watch it or read it.. or why even bother to write revi