Sunday, February 11, 2007

Veerasamy - Part 2

Now the movie takes a strange turn. This is expected to happen many times in the movie... you must not be surprised. This movie does not have an editor. (TR can do 8 things... but editing is not one of them... and the other Kollywood editors died after watching the first shot)... The scenes have been shot in a pseudo random sequence. So you will just see the storyline jumping from one garbage lot to another completely randomly and without warning or reason.

So now that we know everythign there is to know abotu Veera, we now follow the life of Veera's sister. 'Thamizh' who wears 'chudi' and tells Veera that she wanted jeans fant and have a boph cut. It is a curious thing about Veera... maybe because of the hair growing from his eyeballs... Veera starts crying everytime he sees his sister... you recognize the time has come for one more of Teeyaaar's 'adukkumozhis'... you close your ears but not before he starts out with....

Ammmaaaaaaa..... naan oru muttal ma...
You small girl beinged ... I big boy

I kept food and all into your mouth

You bited my hand also then but no painings

But now your words... painings painings painings


Why I "Thamizh" name kept... you know?
Thamizh very nice. Thamizh very sweet.

Thamizh very culture and Thamizh culture no Jeans fant

Thamizh culture nono Boph cut. Thamizh no English say


And the whole family starts crying because the sister said she wanted Jeans fant and have boph cut. We hear the starting verses of a new song but mercifully Teeyar decides to move on.

So Thamizh goes to college. Apparently some colleges have no 'classes'. All students carry two books close to their chest... and walk about in gardens. All the girls in college appear to be well endowed (that incidentally is what the books are for)... and are leched on by all the guys. This college has all the guys sporting tatoos on all parts of the body including the forehead... and they all have ear piercings the size of small missiles. Our hero falls insanely in love... ready to lose life types... on first sight and because of that refuses to even look at any other girl. Even if other girls come in the form of Meghna Naidu who walk about moaning... "Nee enakku veaanum daaaaaaaaaaaaa"... I took a quick restroom break here... cleared my tummy off yesterdays paniyaaram... and came back to endure the rest of the movie.

So the story now obviously follows loverboy... who (borrowing an expression from Arun Lal...) 'extremely obviously' is the younger brother of queenbitch whorelady introduced in the first scene. Meghna Naidu is the daughter of the politician in cohoots with queenbitch.... (BTW politician and queenbitch are sleeping together. T Rajendhar suddenly jumps on top of them through the roof... apparently he was peeking in on them (the little voyeur) and was ready to join them in any kinky game they were playing... for he was wearing a red sleevless track suit. Ahh my eyesssssssssss where is the bleach ???

So now what do we have? Teeyar... his sister in love with loverboy who is the brother of queen bitch who is sleeping with fat politician whose daughter is in love with loverboy too, who in her own words... WANTSSSSSSSSSSSSS him. So this after all a love movie? Correct?

WRONG !There is more... Queenbitch apparently wants to make more money and the only person who is standing in her way... iS Teeyaarrrr (Actually he is only standing on the side but his immense girth makes it impossible for them to avoid him. No1 knows why she wants to destroy Teeyar.. but she wants to.. and so she rambles on about how she wants him squashed like a common fly. Teeyar rebounds by likening himself to Sachin Tendulkar in one of the most hilarious re-enactments of King Kong uttering his first words. TR says...

Ok Sachin one match not hit it means no match no hit ??
NO !Sachin next match hit hit hit hit very much hit.
And shakes his head like a bear which was just stung by a scorpion... and begins to go on teh rampage.

What is going to happen next? WIll TR prevail? WIll true love ultimately suceed? Will the villis gett heir 'comeupance'... wait and watch. This ends the next edition of the rant. I think i will take one more break here... will be back with more.

6 comments:

Mukiz said...

very funny man... i hope u can complete it :)

Migrating Thoughts - Ramblings of a Mind said...

I was waiting to see ur review for this movie...Too funny!!

Hopefully u can complete ur rant!

Escape.... Great Escape said...

Hey thanks... this 'trilogy' will atleast have seven parts to it :-).

Suresh said...

hahaha hilrious lines of damil kulchur!

Suresh said...

lines on*

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