Thursday, February 15, 2007

Veerasamy - Part 6

Jump Cut. We are now back in Teeyar's house. Teeyar suddenly realizes that about 30 hours of the movie is already over and if he did not wrap things up pretty quickly in the next 30 minutes, the first show would result in the theatre being burnt down. But WAIT... not before the thangachi sentiment song !!! Teeyar crying , sister crying, growthing mother crying, sidekick one crying, plant crying, pillar crying, neighbor dog crying and the song goes on...

Teeyar sitting on a rocking chair... totally unnecessary. He himself is a sphere. All he needs is to load his bottom.. and he will continue rocking for ages. Talking about loaded bottoms... the song that ensues is a very good example of the thing that loads Teeyar's bottom. It is incredibly malodourous and drives even his ardent fanatic to the ciggie stands. Well I do not have the energy to write what the song was about, but then I guess you get the drift. I unfortunately did and it damaged my nostrils permanently and killed a few million brain cells.

Meanwhile... jump cut. Jump cut to villain's den. New plans being hatched to hurt Teeyar again. New villain plan astounds as usual. The plan is to get Teeyar's lady love to marry queenbitch's elder brother thus cutting Teeyar out of what is legally his... (ie) 300 pounds of flesh.

Why would Mummumaatha accept to this? Well obviosuly she has to get married to the other guy because Teeyar is refusing to marry her. Why is Teeyar refusing to marry her? Because thamizhponnu wants to be non-hymen-rubbed. Why does thamizhponnu want to be non-hymen-rubbed? Because queenbitch wants Teeyar to fall at her feet. Why is Teeyar refusing to fall? Because he is humpty dumpty... and if he falls down.. all the king's horsemen cannot put him back together again! Simple logic.. If only the horsemen were better equipped with feviquik, the movie was over in its first frame!

Mummumaatha gets married to queenbitch's elder brother. Teeyar cannot resist the temptation. No he cannot... ofcourse.. aaah there is ONE MORE SONG!!!! If the first maudlin song takes place in Teeyar's house this song of unrequited love takes place outside. I mean on the street outside his house which BTW is bang opposite Mummumaatha's house. She walks into the house and slips... Teeyar tries to catch her.. but stops because she cannot be touched now... Mummumaatha had slept on Teeyar's poster... but no longer possible. So she never gets any sleep. Teeyar does not like food so he washes his hands on the food plate. (Why do they do it?). He cannot sleep so he wears his vesti and roams the streets. By now I was brain dead to recollect the lyrics. But there was a lot of crying and headbanging. Teeyar bares his lower row of teeth and gives an expression like that of a rabid grizzly bear for the entire song. Why do all his songs have 4 charanams and 16 pallavis?

To get the answer wait for the next spisode coming in.... 10 minutes. Infact that is all it takes to write each one of these :-). Think about Teeyar... and crap flows automatically.

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