Thursday, June 21, 2012

Solpa Fiction: The Bhupathi Situation

AITA Offices:

Khanna: Abheyaar what to do yaar? This saale Madrasi Bhoopathi is creaing such a ruckus?

Lackey 1: Slightly Paes was also a Madrasi.

Khanna: What was that? This guy Bhupathi wants to play only with Boppanna... and this Paes has an automatic entry to Olympics. We can send 2 teams or what?

Lackey 2: So you want to pander to the whims and fancies of players? Instead of handling the situation firmly, you want to suck up to all the players? What kind of a leader are you? If it was me, I would not field a tennis team at all.

Khanna: So that is your solution? To sulk and let India suffer? Though I see your point, it might work in a family but not for a country.

Lackey 3: Bbbutt... there is one person who can solve this problem. He is the man for the hour, a legend, a name spoken only in whispers among sports executives....

<Lalit Modi on the phone: I understand. Will take forever, I will be there in 10, Don't tell Sreenivasan.>

LM: Hi gentlemen.. I am Lalit Modi and I solve problems.

LM: You are Khanna? And this is your organization? Lets get down to brass tacks gentlemen.
Higher seeded player has bad attitude or so says lower players and hence cannot play with him. 
Need to send best "team" to the Olypics to maximize India's chances of winning. 
Whole country talking about this issue about players behaving like brats and AITA not being able to handle them.

Everyone in chorus: YES!

LM: Problem is simple, marketing already done, crowd interest is high, players are behaving badly,
Step 1: Set up match: Mahesh and Bopanna against Paes and whatshisname. Winner goes to Olympics!
Step 2: Sell TV telecast rights for a few gazillion
Step 3: Profit!

Khanna bows his head to the master.
2 months later, LM watches Paes and Hesh beat opposition to pulp in London.

No comments: